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Overwhelmed with Options

If there’s one thing I’ve found so far on the wedding planning journey, is that the options are just so overwhelming.

I’m only in the earliest stages of planning, and thank goodness I have at least a few things figured out. I know (roughly) what my centerpieces will be. We’re not doing a wedding cake and instead, we’ll have a dessert bar. We’ve narrowed it down to two months that we’d like to have the wedding in. But choosing a venue? Kill me.

(Psst…some of the venues we are considering are in the photos…)

Photos taken from venue websites. Except for the one at night. That came from my Mister.

The venue is one of the biggest decisions you make in wedding planning – and I’ve found that it can be one of the most frustrating pursuits so far.

I’ve contacted more than 35 venues in the past three months. I’ve heard back from maybe a third of those. Some were completely out of our price range, so they got cut off the list first. Then we got rid of the venues that couldn’t accommodate our guest list. Then the ones that wouldn’t allow for alcohol to be served (we like our beverages!). Then there were some that were flaky, non-responsive, or rude. Cut.

Now, I’ve got things narrowed down to about 5-7 venues. We haven’t visited any yet and that’s the next step of the journey, but trimming down the volume of venues did give me some insight into the process (and hopefully I can apply this to other areas of my planning):

  • Know what’s important to you. When it comes to choosing a venue, we want a place that has good food (or allows for good outside catering), is attractive, is easily accessible, and isn’t a hassle in any way. The less stress we have for this shindig, the better. Both my fiance and I are on the same page with the type of “feel” we want our venue to have, as well as what we want and don’t want in our reception. 
  • Have an idea of limits. A rough estimate of your guest list can make a huge difference. Before we even got engaged, Brent and I made mock guest lists out of curiosity to see how many people we’d want to have. We’re around 175 (though I have this overwhelming urge to want to invite everyone, but curbing that is a topic for another post) and having that number in mind made it easier to look at venues. Right off the bat, I was able to slim down my list of places to contact for pricing quotes.
  • Think about your guests. My biggest priority for the day is for everyone to have a good time, and I want to make sure that they’re comfortable and well taken care of. I consider their needs as well as my own desires for what I want the wedding reception to be.
  • First impressions matter. I think more favorably about the venues and vendors that responded quickly (and thoroughly!) to my inquiries about pricing and capacity. Unfortunately, I’ve dealt with a few who took forever to respond, never called back, never followed through, were vague and difficult, or just didn’t impress me. Professionalism, friendliness, and a dedication to service makes a different to a couple shopping for a venue – if you don’t have this down, you’re missing out in a big way.

We still have a lot of time before we have to start nailing down the nitty gritty details, but this is going to be a biggie. It’s going to determine a lot of other things (including the date!) so I’m taking extra care to not rush into it and to think everything through.

Speaking of thinking things through, am I over analyzing? Should I just pick a place and run with it? What did you do for your wedding? I’d love to get your thoughts too!

 

 

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Eavesdropping

I’ve always like overhearing other people’s conversations.

When I’m out at restaurants, I often find myself picking up on tidbits from neighboring booths. An old man griping to another about Social Security. A mother telling her child where pancake syrup comes from. Two people awkwardly making small talk on a a blind date. It’s always been so interesting.

Photo By: Dingxiang Lin

I don’t usually ever comment or chime in. I smile quietly to myself and listen, taking it all in, maybe trying to put myself in another’s shoes. Sometimes I think about how this conversation should be written down and turned into a short story or a movie, but I never once open a notebook to do so. I think that’s what I enjoy most about it – it’s a quiet moment of appreciation and unknowing connection with other people. I’ve never met you, but I can relate to you and what you’re saying. Or if I can’t relate, I’m willing to learn.

Earlier this week, I got the chance to travel for work, so my eavesdropping habits took me 30,000 feet above my normal territory.

On the plane, two women sat behind me. One lived in Los Angeles and was home for a week to visit family. She worked in a lab, rode horses, and said her coworkers were straight out of The Big Bang Theory. The other was visiting from Houston, returning home to see a friend. Both asked questions about the other’s life. They laughed. They commented on how the shopping in NEPA sucks and how they’re always surprised at the difference in thinking they see when they come back. They both felt that NEPA was “sad”, “depressing”, “frustrating”, and “backwards”. They noted how their loved ones in respective cities have to “retrain” them to act, feel, and speak “normally.”

This was something that I didn’t like overhearing, yet it’s something I’ve heard all too many times before.

Photo By: Marzena

The notion that Northeastern Pennsylvania sucks is not a new one. We have our fair share of problems. Bankrupt cities, high unemployment rates, slashed funding for social programs, politicians lining their pockets, and a river of corruption running under the surface. Socially, we come from diverse backgrounds and share histories firmly rooted in coal mining, immigration, and getting through hard times. Sometimes, this gives us the sense that there’s never progress being made and that we’re always five years behind everyone else. We have a tendency toward depression and addiction is as prevalent as the churches. But we’re also hardworking and pretty friendly. We do a lot more than we give ourselves credit for and there’s a growing number of people who believe that NEPA isn’t so bad. I consider myself to be one of those people.

Photo By: smata2

We all grew up hearing the same things. We’ve been told to get the hell out of here and go somewhere you can “make it”.  Apparently Philadelphia and New York were our only other options for civilization. When I was a teenager, I wanted to live the dream of being a writer with a cat, a perfectly made cocktail, and a cozy apartment in Manhattan (nevermind the cost, the challenge, and the rest of the city I glossed over in my big idea). I thought “The Valley” had no room to grow into something truly remarkable and turned my eyes to New York. When you’re a teenager, you think you knew everything – you really didn’t.

When I began my college search, I looked out of state. I got in, but at the time, my great-grandparents were ill and I wanted to be at least in driving distance in case anything happened. They were such a big part of my life, so I turned my search for a school back to Pennsylvania. I found Marywood and it ended up being the best deal for my heart and my wallet. So I stayed. They passed away. Time did too. But it was okay, because I didn’t ever feel resentful of my decision. By that time, I was fortunate to have found other people who opened my eyes to the idea that you can affect change and live the life you want, no matter where you live. It was a revelation – and it’s made me a happier person ever since.

Photo By: revblake

I’ve fallen in love with NEPA over and over again since making that choice. I’ve learned more about my history. I’ve explored new places. I’ve built a life here – and it’s one that I feel proud of. And I’m thankful to have met others who share this love and unyielding sense of optimism for where we live. (Also, pierogies.)

Despite what you’ve been told, there are always things happening here – good things, too. If you say there’s nothing to do here, you’re not looking. And if you see something is lacking or if there’s an opportunity for something amazing, make it yourself. It’s how NEPA BlogCon, The Vintage, Whiskey Bacon and so many other wonderful things came into being. Be part of something.

The two women I heard on the plane reminded me of something I already know: your entire life is not governed by your zip code. You can do what you love, create what you imagine, learn what you are dying to know, and try new things every day, no matter where you are. I’m lucky – and thankful – to be living here. And I hope on their next trip home, they can fall in love again with NEPA like I did.

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Birds and Pigs

Photo By: Hsiang Chang

Desperation, thy name is Angry Birds.

For the past three weeks, I’ve been breaking up my breakneck schedule with games of Angry Birds. I’ve never actually played the whole game through, but I find that it’s a nice distraction when I need give my brain a break. Well, sort of.

When I got a new phone, I went through the Google Play store looking for apps to download and when I found Angry Birds again, my enthusiasm for it was renewed. I had forgotten I even had it on my old phone. Now was my chance to get back into it and actually play the game through until the end.

I told myself, “Hey, it’s just a game. This’ll be fun.”

“You can just relax and play for a little while,” I said.

“It’s just birds, pigs, and physics – what could go wrong?”

What the what was I thinking?

For weeks, I’ve sacrificed sleep and sanity to play Angry Birds. I’m embarrassed to even say how many nights it was that I’ve squinted in the dark at my screen, trying like hell to get those damned TNT boxes to explode in just the right way so that I can knock out those little green demons and earn more points. Oh yeah, and when you’re actually done beating a level, it’s all like, “Nah, you weren’t that good. It took you 2 hours just to beat this one level – so you only get a star.”

Only. one. star.

You have to be kidding me.

Then, I reached my tipping point. It was a stressful day at work, I wasn’t feeling great, and I was sleep deprived already from working on a project. I needed a release. I needed some time with Angry Birds.

So I played. And I got stuck. I played this one level over and over and over again – FOR DAYS. Days, I tell you! I couldn’t do it. One little piggie was always left, grinning at me. My blood pressure rose. My face had to be twisted into some fierce grimace between pain and rage.

That’s it. I’m doing it.

So I did it. I caved and sprung for “The Mighty Eagle”.

Best damn 99 cents ever.

Photo By: Alexei Petrenko

Now instead of killing myself to beat an unbeatable level, I use that sucker to just explode away my problems. It’s a nice feeling of pure destruction. But, there’s a part of me that feels guilty. Am I taking the easy way out? Am I giving up? Am I just another lazy American spending way too much time on her cell phone?

Probably, but sometimes, it just feels good when your screen looks like this:

Photo By: Vince Viloria

 

 

 

 

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Thankful Thursday: Scent

Today, I’m thinking about scents and feeling really thankful for my schnoz.  Smelly smells can sometimes be a good thing. Plus, you know what they say about sense of smell being one of the most powerful triggers of memory.

Here are some of my favorite smells – and feel free to share a comment with your own!

To start off with, CITRUS!

 

Lavender.

Photo By: Judy Ringrose

 

Hay.

Photo By: Keith Taylor

 

Cinnamon.

Photo By: michelle

 

New notebooks.

Photo By: madivelour

 

New and old books.

Photo By: Tilly Lettice

Sunshine (yes, it does have a smell!).

Photo By: ZY is freedom

These are just a few of my favorites – which ones are yours?

 

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Wedding Planning Mantra #1: I Will Not Be a Bridezilla

Photo By: Lyn Gardner

When we first got engaged, my Mister-to-be and I spent a weekend watching “Bridezillas”. Like most Netflix rabbit holes, “Bridezillas” sucked us in for what probably amounted to several hours. We watched, we cringed, and swore up and down that we wouldn’t let that kind of crazy seep into our own wedding plans.

My name is Mandy Boyle – and I’m pledging to not be a bridezilla.

But I am looking to document my wedding planning experience here and hopefully, have some fun doing it.

I’ve written for wedding clients as part of my job in internet marketing, so I’m familiar with the territory. I’ve read all about tips, tools, color palettes, and inspiration boards. I’ve seen the craziness. I’ve also seen the overwhelming amount of products and resources that are available to brides looking to plan that special day. This may give me an advantage, but I’m certain I have just as many questions, frustrations, and concerns as any other bride.

My blog has always been a place for me to express myself, so while I’m finding myself shaking my head or nodding in agreement throughout the wedding planning process, I think it might be nice to have a place to talk about it (outside of family and friends).

So, the “Getting Hitched” category of my blog will be dedicated to just that. I’ll share my thoughts, my trials, my moments on the brink, and the journey leading up to the big day. There will likely be blood, sweat, and tears. There will be times when I’m completely out of my mind (tell me I’m being stupid).  Becoming a bridezilla may be tempting…but I will try to resist.

Deep breath. 

Let’s begin the Tales of a Twenty-Something, Mostly Reasonable, Scared Shitless Bride a.k.a. How to be a reasonable, budget conscious human being while planning a wedding in Northeastern Pennsylvania.

Mantra #1:  I will not be a bridezilla. 

I will not scream, scratch, and cry on national television. 

I will not make unreasonable demands of my friends and family. 

I will not attempt to burn, maim, punch, kick, or kill my fiance. 

I will not lose my shit at every available opportunity.

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