Mandy Boyle

NEPA-er with Moxie. Writer. Sometimes Actor. Nerdy Girl.

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By: Hugo

Not So Sweet Dreams

Oh no. They’ve started.

The wedding nightmares. The moments of sheer panic when I wake up in a cold sweat because I’ve shown up to my own wedding and I’ve forgotten a critical piece.

The other night, I had a series of (sort of) nightmares consisting of me forgetting something for the big day,  me running around feeling stressed, and me not being able to pay the bill. Subliminal messaging much?

My body is clearly telling me something. I need to slow down. I need to take a deep breath and relax. I’ve got some time to figure things out and anything can happen between now and then. I need to chill. I need to stop over-thinking everything. I also need to remember to be rational.

This is the part of wedding planning they didn’t tell you.

I consider myself to be a mostly practical, if not overly analytical, bride. I’ve weighed my options thoroughly. I have a clear idea of some of what I want and what I don’t want. I refuse to go into debt to pay for the big day. I’ve researched, researched, and researched some more. I’ve laid out my choices so that it’ll be easy to make them as I go along. All of these things I’ve known from the beginning – so why am I now falling prey to the craziness?

There’s a part of me that thinks that this an anticipation quirk.

Maybe it’s a buildup where nothing is happening so I feel like I’m not accomplishing anything.

Or maybe it’s the reading I’ve been doing after hours, looking at DIY tips and ways to save money while still having a kickass time.

Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve got pieces already figured out, like rings and a dress, bridal party and venue, my bouquet.

Getting married is feeling more real – and it’s a good feeling.

I feel good when I think about tying the knot with Brent, because there’s not another person on this little blue and green planet that I’d rather spend my time with. I’m not scared of our future.

What I’m finding myself to be frustrated with is the expectations and overwhelming amount of options. Everyone has been so great and so helpful, but with so many opinions, it’s hard to determine which way I want to go.

I need to practice those mantras I set down for myself when I first got engaged.

C’mon, Mandy. You’re smarter than this. You know that you shouldn’t be stressing yourself out.

And you know what? By the end of writing this, I’m already feeling better. I’m not feeling so scatterbrained. I know I’ve got this. It’s going to be a great day, no matter what.

Who gives a damn about what the ceiling looks like in the venue? Or what color the invitations will be. It’s. just. not. important.  (Yet everything around me keeps pushing and pushing saying that it is, even though I know it isn’t.)

I have to remember that despite what I see all over Pinterest and wedding blogs and everywhere in between, the details are great – but they’re not what makes the day. It’s about love and the future and all of those good things that make life worthwhile.

Let’s shift our focus to that, shall we?

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We Picked a Venue! Now What?

Wedding planning fell to the wayside as soon as we started in on the house buying thing.

But before all that jazz, we made a huge leap in the wedding planning process: we picked a venue.

When Brent and I sat down to think about what we wanted in our dream wedding, we imagined getting hitched in something that looked like this:

 

When we looked at how much it would cost to coordinate a barn wedding (within a reasonable drive), we decided to look at other options. Maybe a unique venue like a museum or something could work?

But, that’s didn’t work out either.

We’re sticking to a modest budget when it comes to our wedding plans, as we’ve both resolved that we absolutely do not want to go into any debt for the big day. Thankfully, our parents are helping out, but we still wanted to keep costs in check.

When I started to run numbers for these sorts of occasions, it ended up being a lot more than those photos make it seem. A barn wedding? That’ll be $4K+ – just for the empty barn. For a day. Really.

So, we started getting creative. I couldn’t even begin to tell you how many different venues I researched. I tried empty floors of old buildings, loft spaces, gallery spaces, airport hangars, museums, storefronts, historic sites, parks, picnic groves, country clubs, hotels, B&Bs, gymnasiums…you name it and I probably considered it. It all came down to three things:

  1. Would we be able to fit and host our guests comfortably?
  2. Would it be in our price range?
  3. Would it fit with the type of wedding we wanted?

Meeting all three criteria? A handful. Maybe. And that’s being optimistic.

One of the biggest challenges, I found, was finding a venue that was going to be within our price range and able to accommodate our projected guest list.

Thankfully, we did.

Appletree Terrace was a venue that I wasn’t sure of when I first started looking, but once I toured the facility (I had been there before in high school, so I hadn’t seen some of their updates) and discussed their pricing and capabilities, it was going to be a good fit.

Is it the venue of our dreams? No, but I’m sure that it met all of our criteria. Our guests will have great food, plenty of parking, and it’s easily accessible. We can get married right in the same place as the reception (another point on our checklist) and we know that it’ll be a great venue to work with.

Fun Fact: My aunt got married and had her reception at this venue! I’ve also dined here for sports team banquets (yes, I did that at one time) and can vouch for the food: it’s delish!

We committed to our date – 10/10/15 – and now…we wait and plan a lot of the other stuff. In January, we’ll go to meet with our venue to talk about menu and the schedule of the day. You know, the deetz.

In the meantime, I’m just going to enjoy the feeling of having a date and a place. Thank goodness.

Morning Mist

My Morning Routine

The other morning, as I rubbed sleep out of my eyes, I scrolled through my Facebook news feed and saw an article shared by Get Rich Slowly.

Forbes asked how several leaders who are women started their days and being curious, I gave the article a skim and noticed some common themes, like breakfast and a few moments to themselves (they all spent the time differently).

It was interesting to see how others dove into their day and it got me thinking about my own routine, which I’ll share just for fun.

6:30 a.m. – First alarm goes off. Hit snooze.

6:40 a.m. – Second alarm goes off. Reach for my phone and start checking email, Facebook, Twitter, and Google News. Scan the news and headlines. Bookmark some things to read later.

6:50 a.m. – Hop in the shower. Contemplate why mornings are so painful.

7:00 a.m. – Get dressed. Say good morning to the Mister while he eats breakfast in the kitchen.

7:15 a.m. – 7:30 a.m. – Pack lunch (some days), futz with hair, brush teeth, and ensure I don’t look like a rag-a-muffin. Contemplate what a rag-a-muffin really looks like, or if my mother just made it up. Get distracted.

7:30 a.m. – 7:45 a.m. – Jostle with getting shoes and coats on before departing the humble abode. Hug and kiss goodbye, “have a good day!”, and commute to work. Listen to NPR News or music along the way.

7:50 a.m. – 8:00 a.m. – Park and walk to the office. Sometimes stop at Starbucks for a juice, tea, or breakfast treat. I either bring breakfast or stop to get it, but I usually eat at my desk once I get in.

I’m not the type to work out before work. I don’t always remember to fix myself breakfast or lunch (I much prefer sleep). I wish I would try 5 minutes of meditation, but I’d be too afraid to doze off again.

Regardless of whatever position you hold or lifestyle you pursue, I think it’s a fun exercise to examine routine. We rarely take the time to do so and it’s always good to hold up a mirror to what we do every day. Sometimes, we notice something interesting about ourselves. Maybe you’ll discover what you value, or maybe where you have room for improvement.

How do you spend your morning?

New Journeys

Ch-Ch-Changes!

Oh, hey.

It’s been awhile.

The summer and fall was incredibly eventful. A lot of things happened and I didn’t have much blogging mojo to document it. It’s okay though – I’ve accepted that it’s just the way things go sometimes.

The Vintage closed. There was heartbreak and I went through a period of mourning (it involved a lot of time on the couch, self-doubt, sulking, and tears), but it was the right time.

#harlot #atthevintage

A photo posted by Mandy Boyle (@mandyboyle_) on

The great news is that the Vintage Theater’s ensemble (of which I am a member) is continuing its work. The doors may be closed, but the people and their work in our community will continue (P.S. one such thing is Scranton Fringe Festival – tell everyone you know about this because I’m super excited for it! Here’s where you can find them on Twitter and on Facebook.)

It’s hard for me to put into words all of the feels I have about The Vintage, but instead of focusing on what’s gone, I’m looking more at what’s sprouting up in our community by the people who were behind a place I so loved. THAT’S what The Vintage was all about.

I did some theater. Fall was a busy time. In the midst of NEPA BlogCon, I did a reading of Another Tempest by Robert Andrew Anderson (a creative adaptation of Shakespeare’s The Tempest with notes of The Beatles, the theremin, and some creative storytelling). I got to be a villain which was a lot of fun, plus, all of the proceeds went to a good cause (thanks to the Wyoming Valley Art League for hosting us!).

Little Beth Bluebird tells it. #live #local #theater #Scranton

A photo posted by Sarah Jayne Regan (@sarahjayner) on

I also got to play Little Beth Bluebird, an original character with a sweet yet tragic story set in the 1920’s, in Whipers of Scranton Legends, a dinner theater performance for Leadership Lackawanna. If you happened to attend and interacted with me during cocktail hour, thanks for playing along!

NEPA BlogCon 2014 happened. We had what some say is our best year yet. We had another full house of attendees at Misericordia University and we raised a nice nest egg of seed money to organize and launch a code camp for girls in grades 4 through 6 in our region.

#nepablogcon

A photo posted by Mandy Boyle (@mandyboyle_) on

The NEPA BlogCon Squirrels are now eagerly putting together Squirrel Girls Tech Camp for this coming summer. I am so excited and thankful to have the opportunity to work on this project.

We hit the one year mark. That’s right. In less than a year, Brent and I will be getting hitched. We’re both excited and we’re back on the planning train as a result, so that’s a plus!

I changed jobs. This was by far the most drastic and impactful of changes I experienced. I’m very excited and feel so grateful for my new opportunity, but at the same time, it’s tough leaving behind an incredible team of people. We’ll keep in touch and I’m looking forward to new adventures (and a much shorter commute!). Okay, brave new world of local SEO for the automotive industry – BRING IT.

So, yeah. A LOT went on. But it’s all good. If the past few months have taught me anything, it’s that change – while challenging – can be a good thing.

Change is hard. There isn’t one person I’ve met that says, “Oh, yeah. I love having my life disrupted or things turned upside down.”

But change means growth.

It means facing your value, personally and professionally, head-on and then choosing to do something with it.

It means accepting that all great things must come to an end but what those things meant can continue on in new ways.

It means recognizing just how fast time passes and how we can sometimes get caught up in things that really don’t matter (even if we set out to avoid it).

It means stretching your abilities, state of mind, and attitude – and sometimes feeling sore.

It means crying because you don’t know what else to do, awkward silences, mushy brains and laughing from your nerves because THINGS. ARE. HAPPENING.

It means meeting new people, making new friends, and getting that heart-skipping blend of fear and excitement.

Change happened. And it was good – but I’m looking forward to returning to some routine.

Holy Moly. I’m over on The570.com!

I’m knee deep in BlogCon planning (more on that later), but in the meantime, I’m super thrilled to be featured this week in The Electric City/Diamond City/The570.com.

Finally, I’ve fulfilled my innermost desires to be a librarian for a day (the photos with the piece were done in Marywood’s library – such a cool setting). Any opportunity to chill out with books is a welcome one!

Take a peek: http://the570.com/up-close-mandy-boyle/

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