Do you remember when you were growing up and learning all about gut feelings?

Those moments when you were told to stop and listen to the internal jerking that made you nervous, uneasy, or anxious?

You were reminded to go with your gut when it told you something. Listen to it. Appreciate it. Learn to love it and let it guide you.

So what do you do when you want it to talk to you but it isn’t?

My gut and I? Well, let’s just say we don’t always have the best relationship.

Sure, I’ve trusted it and it’s gone fine, but then there are times when…damn…it just…let me down. And I guess that’s one of the beautiful things about the whole human experience. You get to mess up, learn from it, and then keep going.

But right now? I really wish that little buddy and I were talking.

Lately, I’ve been feeling like my gut and I aren’t on the same wavelength. Questions, requests, invitations – all things that I can normally handle – are stumping and stalling me. I take longer to respond. I consider more. Doubt. Stew. Resolve.

I’m wondering if it has to do with my latest blogging hiatus and the thoughts I’ve had while I was wasn’t writing on here (even though there was still plenty happening in the background). Lots of reflection about how to spend time and how to be kinder to yourself. Trying not to feel guilty. Focusing on just…BEING.

Now I’m here. Nearly midnight. Laundry is put away and I’m sitting on the couch thinking about decisions and to do lists. Nothing here is major. Nothing here is critical.

But still I sit – waiting for good ol’ Gut to chime in and say, “Hey! This is worth your time.” Or, “Nope. Don’t do it.”

I’ll try sleeping on it. See how that goes. After all, maybe he’s just tired and needs a holiday, too. :)